'Refocus your career' was a January Joy I was prepared to ignore. Thinking too much about careers and employment at the moment does not lead to joy. However something changed yesterday. An opportunity arose, and suddenly I have a new job.
My company went through a restructure just over a year ago, which made my husband redundant and at the same time offered me a new role. I had to accept given my husband was now unemployed but it was not what I really wanted to do. I used to love my old job as a manager of people and projects, working autonomously, rarely at my desk, solving problems, planning and making things happen. Let's just say I don't do so much of that now and it makes me sad. It isn't that its a bad job, but it's not a good job for me.
I haven't really ever known what I wanted out of my career. I didn't go out to train in a specific field or go looking for a particular job when I left university, and I found myself on my career path coasting along comfortably. I worked hard, I was good at what I did, I had friends and a good team and I hope I was respected. I was also stressed, overworked, underpaid and under appreciated and would grumble about work like everyone else does.
So now I find myself in a job I'm not happy in and I have spent a lot of sleepness nights, and tearful car journeys home thinking about all the things that make me unhappy. I also understand much more about the things that do make me happy and what I do want out of my job.
There's only really two ways to deal with anything you are unhappy with- change it, or change the way you feel about it. That's what I have tried to do- I've been completely honest (not completely wise!) with my manager, with HR and with other people in the business who may help me change where I am. Time to take the advice I used to give my team all the time- if you want something there is no point hiding it! In the meantime I have done my best to stop feeling sorry for myself, and get my head down and get on with the boring stuff, make the best of the interesting stuff and find opportunities to grow and improve where I am.
Yesterday I was pulled into a meeting room with one of those 'have you got 5 minutes' that I have learnt to dread in this role. Someone with my experience is needed asap to second to a project team working with external consultants on a board sponsored program. I'll be working for my old boss, someone who is a supporter and encourager, not someone who puts me down. It will be doing more stakeholder management and project stuff, which I love, and it will open opportunities- putting me back in touch with people around the business and a network of managers and board members. Maybe. It's all a bit unknown and could also be months of awful data analysis trying to fix the unfixable, leaving behind my lovely team and the safe fingers-in-my-ears- trying - to-be-positive comfort zone. I had to decide TODAY. Arghhhhh!
I've been looking for an opportunity and now here one is. I'm not ecstatic. Its too quick and has lots of unknowns. But if I stay where I am I will still be here in 6 months time, bored, frustrated, wondering what might have been. Where will I be in six month now I have accepted this secondment? Somewhere else and that's what I want. That's quite exciting I suppose. So I'm ready to embrace the change, lets go get the most out of this!
Argghhhhh!
No comments:
Post a Comment