The Baby reality: Overwhelmed by this whole new world

Do you know what a Poddle pod is? Is this something that has ever entered your consciousness as a non-parent? Take those first few unsuspecting steps into the world of babys and it's like you've just arrived at Hogwarts only it's a whole lot more overwhelming. There's a load of strange magical objects with funny names which are apparently life saving devices for problems you never knew existed in the first place. Everyone speaks English but it's interspersed with these strange made-up sounding words like colic and iggle piggle. How on Earth will a muggle like you fit into this strange new world?

Just a day spent with two mummy friends, allowed to let loose and talk all things baby, tipped me from confident, grown up adult to feeling like the new kid at school. Tea and cake (something I forsee there being a lot of in my future) and well meaning advice about everything from buggies to breastfeeding sent me home crying like a hormonal idiot. How will I know what to buy (and what not to buy), what are my labour choices, and never mind baby sensory, what on earth am I going to do when I bring a real life baby home?

After sobbing to my husband (who really hasn't had the reality check yet) I realised all I really have to do is keep it alive and not leave it somewhere. I can learn how a complex software system works, I can surely learn how to operate a small human. My often clueless mother managed it and she didn't even have the internet. From the women living off the scrapheaps in Africa, the slutty girl at school and the morons in the queue at Asda, there are 7 billion of us on this planet, it cant be that hard?

Having a happy pregnancy

So I started this blog mostly for my own therapeutic rambling into the ether, an attempt to document and thus legitimise my attempts to lead a happier life through making an effort to do more stuff. However I don't seem to have found much time to do much exciting recently and life is changing fast. Am I still blogging about Doing more Happy or what?

Well if ever there was a time to enjoy life and get the most out of it its now. I've put off starting a family for a long time with this selfish notion that having kids would ruin any future fun in my life. Weirdly since it's become a reality I don't have that feeling at all. Maybe I have actually grown up??! I guess I am realising that life is not going to end just because I won't be backpacking through the jungle or out raving til 5am for a while (plus I didn't really do that anyway) It will just be different.

These next days, weeks and months will be made of crazy changes and fleeting moments, never repeated, and I should appreciate it. It's amazing what is happening right now- My body is making another human! Pregnancy is a transient time and we do need to make the most of the last times before a new person takes over our life.  So the ethos of Do More Happy still stands. Let's make this a happy pregnancy...

First Trimester, Worst Trimester? All day nausea, epic tiredness and insane worry

Video of 10 week scan. Baby bouncing around like a little T Rex. 

The first 12 weeks of pregnancy is something we learn about from baby books and magazines and crazy paranoid internet searches. If it's your first pregnancy then you have no other reference point. It's not like you can relate to what your friends or colleagues went through, or talk with people about what's going on. Because noone really talks about being pregnant before 12 weeks.

The high risk of miscarriage in the early stages of pregnancy means it's still somewhat of a taboo to mention it before you get to the 'safe zone'. But here's something new and scary and weird as hell happening to you, and it's disrupting your life already, and you feel ill all the time. But for some crazy reason, do not tell anyone why.

Before I even took the test, even as early as 3 weeks I had a suspicion that I was pregnant because I was mega, mega tired. Like so tired I was sleeping on the sofa as soon as I got home from work. And tired every day, not like when you need a lie in after a late night, because no amount of lie in's was getting rid of the tiredness.

Then the nausea came with it. Morning sickness is a stupid name for it. All day, low level of bleughhhh. Feeding the cats, emptying the dustbin, I didn't even open the fridge for weeks because every food smell would turn my stomach. It wasn't even like I was actually sick that often, but the nausea and gagging and total loss of appetite was hard to deal with.

It seems pregnancy, even in the earliest of stages, comes with a whole list of 'normal' symptoms besides sickness from bloating and headaches to cramps and spotting and all sorts else. And there's a fine line between a normal symptom and something more worrying. And god do you worry, especially if it's your first and you haven't been through it before, and even more especially if you've had a previous loss.

Irrational worry, raging hormones, tiredness and sickness but YOU CAN'T TELL ANYONE. In your fragile state of mind you also have to construct a complex web of lies to explain it all away to anyone who might notice. From why you can't make it to the Christmas party (because your colleagues are a bunch of dicks normally, it's too hideous to see them drunk while you are sober), why you drove to the pub that's 10 mins walk away (driving's an easy excuse), why you missed the early train again (puking), why you aren't coming out on a school night (sleepy), it just gets to be hard work.

The end of the first trimester brings a huge relief and not just because you are into the 'safe zone' where the miscarriage risk drops off a cliff, and that the worst of the nausea and fatigue will ease. (Have faith, it will and you'll appreciate how awesome normal really is) Finally you can share your joyful news and also share your woes- explain that you aren't intentionally such a flaky friend or worker, and grumble with others who've been through it.

Suddenly the secret is shared and you have a wide group of concerned friends, coworkers and family who actually ask how you are and want to talk about this amazing, exciting news and nothing else. Nothing else at all. Just about the baby, and your wellbeing (only with regards to the baby) Actually though, you feel fine now and it would be quite nice to just get on and talk about other stuff for a bit. What was all that drama about anyhow?

2015: A Big Scary Adventure

We're having a baby! Yeah yeah, millions of babies are born every minute, standard life event, what's new. Well just because nearly every adult goes through this, often several times over, doesn't mean that on a personal level this is not a momentous, life changing, scary, exciting and massive thing for us. (and probably anyone else going through this too)

It's 12 weeks today, the 1st January 2015, and it's beginning to feel like it's actually really happening. We've known for 8 weeks now, a little secret, a lot of worry and not thinking much beyond there being a little thing in there starting to grow. In the past 2 weeks we've had a private scan and seen it kicking about and a miraculous heartbeat and reached the end of the risky first 12 weeks with no substantial concerns. We've told our families on Christmas day and our friends on New Years Eve, and suddenly it is not just 'I am pregnant' but 'We are having a baby'. Arghhhh!

Hello 2015

Blimey I started 2014 with some good intentions. Coming back a year later to the little blog I pretty much abandoned after 4 months has been refreshing. A lot has changed, and lots has not changed (good and bad) but it does feel like the positive intentions I set out with last year have made some impacts.

We start 2015 in a very different place, poised on the brink of a big adventure that will change our lives completely. So I'm coming back to try this blogging thing again. Forget that big empty gap in the timeline, it doesn't mean I shouldn't pick things up again and carry on. Here goes...

Busy busy busy

Should remember this...

Its been a while...



Been busy

 

New jobs for us both (good and bad), new people, new car, new adventures. Change is good, however it works out. 

 

 

Happy Easter!

Easter means a 4 day weekend! Time for a visual update and a vow to get back to this with more useful content more often.


Thats me. I got a new camera, an Olympus OMD EM10. Its awesome. More soon on that...


First sunshine cider of 2014 (and an afternoon of six nations rugby)
February storms brought us a beautiful sunny sandy beach in Southsea

Wine tasting evening at Kitsch n Dor was epic

More board games
Springtime bike rides

Loving Southsea in the sunshine
Happy Easter weekend
Peaceful Southsea Beach
Blue skies
Pastels
Back to the New Forest for wedding meetings and portraits

Also- More space lectures, an Ignobel Awards evening at the uni, groupon dinner at Steki greek restaurant in Southsea, amazing Turkish dinner with the girls at Istanbul in Southsea, chilled out evening at the Garage Lounge, Brighton catch ups, and going on stage with Derren Brown.

Sounds alright yeah? Its also been stressful, crappy and worrying, but hoping some good news is on the horizon next week (though the way things have been going it could just as easily be bad news)

Spring update

So what have we been up to recently in the quest to do more happy.

- We are slowly converting all our friends and family into board game geeks, this time actual girls came to board game night at our house. 

- We watched the rugby again at Fat Fox. I'm still not really bothered, but there are friends and cider.

- Interesting Space Lecture at the Winchester science centre on the history of astronomy

- We tried to go to the new Icelandic bar '101 Rekjavik' opened in Southsea on Castle road. We walked there from Albert Road in the pouring rain and discovered they weren't serving food and we were hungry so left again. Another time, hopefully they will get busier and get some more atmosphere, I love the ethos of the place on their website.

- We also tried to try the new ice cream parlour Scoops on Elm Grove but its still super popular and busy and getting some bad reviews so we'll leave that one for a bit.

- We had a good go at the pub quiz at the Eastney Tavern but were way off the scoring zone. Its a challenging enough quiz, good mix of trivia and Aspall Cider on tap. We'll be back.

- March pub night was at the Bridge Tavern in Old Portsmouth. Probably nicer in the summer when you can sit out by the fishing boats, but on a chilly evening it was a long walk out of Southsea for expensive beers.

- We had an impromptu trip up to London and went to the Science museum and the beautiful Natural History museum. Originally our friends planned to go to take advantage of the £10 train tickets offer, but we were too late booking and ended up driving and parking for free right behind the museums. So easy! More London trips to plan, its so much cheaper to drive at the weekend.

- The weather is better, Spring is here and I've been out on my bike again down to the seafront and around. It's a simple thing that makes me happy.

- Finally, we took our nephew to see the Lego movie, possibly the most awesome movie ever. 

Weekend Wander

Southsea is best in the summer, the faded seaside resort buzzes in the sunshine, with families, students, hipsters and chavs alike, all laid out on the grassy common and strolling on the seafront, the smell of barbecues on the breeze. Winter is mostly angry traffic, foghorns, discount shopping and crashing waves. But a break in the weather pulls everyone out, a cold sunny sunday and we hit the prom again, dogwalkers, kids and runners drawn out for the fresh sea air. We all love living by the sea.

Our seafront has been battered these past few weeks, the winter storms bringing waves smashing over the seawalls and shingle up onto the road. The beach is sandy, the bandstand flooded and the benches, shelters and pier beaten up. The rain stopped today and the people came out again, picking through the shells, starfish and sponges washed up onto the pavement, fighting against the determined winds.

We went ourselves, to explore and take photos, blasted by sand and an abundance of sea air. We met friends for a pretty good carvery lunch at the Jolly Sailor (thanks Groupon!) and then came home again to a log fire and TV catchup. Ace Sunday. :)

Myers-Briggs

It's much easier to be happy when you understand what it is that makes you happy. Sounds easy right? There's lots of big obvious things which you can say make you happy, from a cute kitten video to getting a pay rise. But actually what makes you happy day in day out, what do you get satisfaction from doing, what motivates you?

A link on facebook led me to a quick personality profiler site which led to a more insightful result than you might expect from a 5 minute free questionnaire.  Myers-Briggs is a psychometric test designed to measure psychological preferences based on the theory laid down by respected brain doc Carl Jung. It's something I've done a bit of before at work, but I haven't really seen it in this way before.

The questionnaire puts you into one of 16 personality types, whether you have a preference for Extrovert/Introvert, Intuituve/ Sensing, Thinking/ Feeling, Judging/ Prospecting. I came up ENTP- the visionary, the innovator, the explorer. It made so much sense I was actually quite excited about what I read, and stayed up late reading more (we do that, us ENTPs)

My (ex) boss looks at me like I'm mental when I say that I'm bored, that I just do not have the attention span for the work I am doing, I hate routine. I feel like some disruptive school kid. I'm not a troublemaker, I am ENTP. I argue to understand and challenge existing rules and routines. I love to learn and do new things, I have a billion new ideas which rarely go beyond my notepad, and I get distracted easily.

I'm really excited about my new job now. I've been in a few meetings this week and this project has momentum. A real change of pace, some huge challenges and high profile. Its bigger than I realised, with a chance to work with some clever people from one of the world's most respected consulting firms. And it's such a good fit- room for ideas, lots to understand and challenge, brainstorming.

This is the profile:

 http://www.16personalities.com/ENTP-personality

February Fun

First pay day after Christmas and first of many fun weekend's of February. The plans made in January start coming into effect this month and it looks like we are going to be busy (in a good way!)

On Friday we went to Sant-Yago, a Tapas restaurant in Southsea, with a Groupon voucher. I've decided to live life through Groupon this year, and take advantage of the deals to try new restaurants and activities at bargain prices. Sant-Yago is on the must try list, and with 7 dishes for £13.50, we were able to tuck into a variety of dishes for a steal. The independent restaurant on Clarendon Road was bustling but has an intimate atmosphere good for a date. The food was lovely, we especially enjoyed the baked Camembert, paprika crisps and Albodingas and we'll definitely go back to try some of the other Tapas treats. Yum!

On Saturday it was the first monthly pub night- a plan formulated from the Facebook group. We extended the plans a bit and went early to the Fat Fox to watch the England- France Six Nations rugby, a game where I'm still not completely sure what's going on. Good to have some cider and chat with the boys before a visit to the best curry house in the world T&J Mahal on Elm Grove. A swift Balti chilli chicken massalla and on to meet the rest at the King Street Tavern to try a pub we wouldn't normally go to. For good reason, there were no tables and so we went back to Elm Grove to the Honest Poli for old times sake. Just a good fun unpretentious evening, something we have not done enough of in the past year.

Where to in March?

January Joy Update

Right that's 1/12 of the year done, January is over and its been good! Nothing amazing has happened, I've hardly been anywhere much, the weather and the traffic have been rubbish and we are still in the same crappy situation we were in at the end of last year. But project 'Do More Happy' is working! Positive mental attitude and all that hippy rubbish.

Here's an update on progress on some of my #JanuaryJoy list.

Social Media Sort Out- I spent an evening sorting out Hootsuite and Twitter lists so now my 500 or so followees are arranged into real people, local stuff, comedy, interesting & newsie, photographers, wedding industry etc. It's much more efficient and allows me to sift through the shouting and self promotion without needing to unfollow tweeps who are occasionally interesting or are perhaps useful contacts.

Go and see a film- We saw the Hobbit Desolation of Smaug and Hunger Games Catching Fire this month

Celebrate your family- Went for a pub lunch with my husband's family

Read something new- I haven't read much recently, having picked up some books I really couldn't finish so I have read a couple of Terry Pratchett books I've read before to get back into it. I've also been reading up on my 'Learn Something New' and just finished reading 'Bang! A complete history of the universe' which is a brilliantly accessible book on the cosmos. It manages to be intelligent and non-patronising, but avoids too much complicated jargon and maths. I might be ready to try Hawking's 'A Brief History of Time' now.

Plan your Savings- January is always the month of accounting and money sort outs for me, culminating in the dreaded self assessment tax return. Looks like I should be due a tax refund, which right now is awesome (but does actually mean I made less profit from my business than expected) I've also filled up my Tax free ISA for the year, and got my sharesave sorted out. We upgraded our joint account with Nationwide to an added value account for £10 a month which gives us mobile and travel insurance, breakdown cover and other stuff for less than half the price we were paying with Lloyds. Good news is that although our income is incredibly stretched right now, the tax refund could pay for a nice holiday :)

Some things on the list are still in progress..

Focus on your career- I'm on secondment!

Learn Something New- Planning on going to another Space Lecture at the Winchester Science Centre, getting out to do some star trail photography and some stargazing at some point (should it EVER stop raining and give us some clear skies!)

Try a New Trend- I'm still loving my fringe!

And some things still to do...

Plan a room- I'm always busy on Pinterest with the Home inspiration, but I have some direction for the living room based on a beautiful botanical wallpaper we have coming up in my latest range. I'll post something soon..

Plan to revamp your garden- The garden is in desperate need of some love this summer and planning the changes we need to make will probably move from Pinterest ideas to reality over the next few months as the weather improves and outdoors ranges come into the shops.

Get serious about your skin- yep I am going to go to the doctors.. when I have time.

Plan some clean eats- let be honest, never going to happen!

Treat Yourself- Got a plan, just need to book

Tidy Up and Clear out- Always the last thing to do...

Make a fitness target- Technically I made a target, I just haven't managed to find the time at all this month to do it. I want to go swimming (thats the target, actually make it to the leisure centre) January is rubbish for fitness anyway, gyms and pools are full up of people on new years resolutions- by February it will be getting back to normal.

Plan a Trip- That is totally going to happen- now I have sorted out my finances and expect to get some tax back my top priority is persuading my husband to go on holiday somewhere exotic and adventurous.

So February, there's no list, let's make our own.

January Joy: Refocus your Career

'Refocus your career' was a January Joy I was prepared to ignore. Thinking too much about careers and employment at the moment does not lead to joy. However something changed yesterday. An opportunity arose, and suddenly I have a new job.

My company went through a restructure just over a year ago, which made my husband redundant and at the same time offered me a new role. I had to accept given my husband was now unemployed but it was not what I really wanted to do. I used to love my old job as a manager of people and projects, working autonomously, rarely at my desk, solving problems, planning and making things happen. Let's just say I don't do so much of that now and it makes me sad. It isn't that its a bad job, but it's not a good job for me.

I haven't really ever known what I wanted out of my career. I didn't go out to train in a specific field or go looking for a particular job when I left university, and I found myself on my career path coasting along comfortably. I worked hard, I was good at what I did, I had friends and a good team and I hope I was respected. I was also stressed, overworked, underpaid and under appreciated and would grumble about work like everyone else does.

So now I find myself in a job I'm not happy in and I have spent a lot of sleepness nights, and tearful car journeys home thinking about all the things that make me unhappy. I also understand much more about the things that do make me happy and what I do want out of my job.

There's only really two ways to deal with anything you are unhappy with- change it, or change the way you feel about it. That's what I have tried to do- I've been completely honest (not completely wise!) with my manager, with HR and with other people in the business who may help me change where I am. Time to take the advice I used to give my team all the time- if you want something there is no point hiding it! In the meantime I have done my best to stop feeling sorry for myself, and get my head down and get on with the boring stuff, make the best of the interesting stuff and find opportunities to grow and improve where I am.

Yesterday I was pulled into a meeting room with one of those 'have you got 5 minutes' that I have learnt to dread in this role. Someone with my experience is needed asap to second to a project team working with external consultants on a board sponsored program. I'll be working for my old boss, someone who is a supporter and encourager, not someone who puts me down. It will be doing more stakeholder management and project stuff, which I love, and it will open opportunities- putting me back in touch with people around the business and a network of managers and board members. Maybe. It's all a bit unknown and could also be months of awful data analysis trying to fix the unfixable, leaving behind my lovely team and the safe fingers-in-my-ears- trying - to-be-positive comfort zone.  I had to decide TODAY. Arghhhhh!

I've been looking for an opportunity and now here one is. I'm not ecstatic. Its too quick and has lots of unknowns. But if I stay where I am I will still be here in 6 months time, bored, frustrated, wondering what might have been. Where will I be in six month now I have accepted this secondment? Somewhere else and that's what I want. That's quite exciting I suppose. So I'm ready to embrace the change, lets go get the most out of this!

Argghhhhh!

January Joy: The Carbfest

I don't generally do 'girls night in'. I don't have a best friend or a group of girls I go out with while the menfolk go out somewhere else. My main friend group is a mix of boys and girls, mostly all couples now, and most of us have known each other since college. There isn't much in the way of gossip, dating, in fighting or breakups, we don't do makeovers or chick flicks or any really typical ingredients of a Girls Night In.

But Girls Night In is on the January Joy list. So last weekend the girls came round my house for pillow fights, makeovers, talking about snogging and romantic comedy DVDs. Well actually we didn't do any of that, but it was actually nice to get together with just the girls, even though the conversation, when devoid of boys, went far too far into topics like childbirth and eating placentas (!?) 

Why Carbfest? I also ticked off two other things on the January Joy list- Make bread and make pasta. I don't really do much cooking, don't have the time or much inclination so I tackled this in my own way. Before going whole hog and making actual pasta I thought I would make some of my favourite pasta dishes from scratch instead of using jar sauces and ready made ingredients. A useful life skill for my future as a proper grown up.

I made meatballs, greatest of all pasta dishes, from a recipe found on pinterest involving chipotle paste for a bit of punch. With a spicy tomato sauce I had high hopes. Then I made mac n cheese, second greatest of all pasta dishes, following a recipe found on pinterest cited as the best mac n cheese recipe ever. Who can distrust this American lady's claims, after all the USA is best at gloopy, cheesy, unhealthly carb laden foods. 

Then the accompaniment; the bread. Pinterest again distracted me from making normal bread, and sent me on a quest to replicate Red Lobster Cheddar Bay Biscuits. The real deal, from the American seafood chain are amazing warm garlic- cheese scone things of awesome. After eating these in Florida, I developed an full on obsession for these when on holiday in Canada (where they advertise on TV and then don't have any Red Lobsters anywhere we went!) Beautiful waterfalls, no bloody biscuits! Plus doesn't Cheddar Bay sound like a great place to live?

How was it? Mediocre. Not rubbish, just not that amazing. I was going to share the recipes, but I honestly did not think it worth the whole afternoon of hard work in the kitchen. Cooking for 10 people is time consuming and expensive! The Biscuits were pretty damn good and easy to make with the magic ingredient Bisquick. Bit salty because I accidentally used Garlic salt for the topping and not ground garlic, but these will be made again.

So there, 3 more things off the January Joy list! (funny 'Clean Eats' just didn't seem to fit in here)

Appreciation

"If you're unhappy, embrace change... make a difference... if you're bored find something to do - Nice one Amy for helping us all to enact this in our life!!"

My friend just posted this onto facebook following on from our facebook group. Love the sentiment, and love even more that my quest to do more happy is reaching out to my friends too! :D 

Do Interesting Things

"Do Interesting Things and Interesting Things will Happen to You"

I have an abundance of ideas, ambitions and schemes most of which go nowhere as they all squabble for the attentions of my wandering brain and busy life. Its not like I'm bored and have nothing fun or exciting on the horizon, there is so much possibility and opportunity waiting out there. It's just about getting some focus and getting on with it. 

A week ago I created a facebook group with my friends. I simply said it was a group to suggest something you want to do, such as a gig, exhibition, restaurant and if others are interested they say so and then you sort it out. Sounds simple, you might wonder why we don't we do this anyway, but actually we are all busy and see each other less and less so it seems harder and harder to plan things in.

Something cool happened. Everyone got involved, and over a weekend we have plans and ideas for plans for months ahead. From a simple night at the pub to wine tasting dinners, pub quiz, go karting, come dine with me dinner parties, camping, space lectures, weekend in Brighton and poker night. Its going to be busy, but its going to be fun.

Can't wait to do more happy in 2014!

January Joy: Try a New Trend

'Try a New Trend' is a slightly scary prospect for someone in her mid thirties who has not read a fashion magazine for years. If new trends are what I see girls wearing to the pub on a Saturday night I can do without thanks. Wet look leggings have a place, and it's not on my fat backside.

So I decided to forget about that and just go with a change. I decided to get a fringe cut. This may or may not be a new trend, it could be soo last year, but who cares really.

Fringes have been a no no since my teenage years. The thick blonde fringe I had sported since primary school started from somewhere at the back of my head and was thick enough to completely obscure my vision after 2 weeks starting to grow the damned thing out. I wore a thick black alice band for about a year as the awkward chunk of ex-fringe slowly met up with the rest of my hair. There was no such thing a long sweeping side fringes in the early 90s, my hairdresser did not seem to help me out. So cutting it back in again has never been an option.

But I am curious. Since the fringe was last around, my hair has mostly just hung about in various lengths of layered bob. Its time to change things up a bit. Collecting images of beautiful celebrities and models sporting cool looking fringes encouraged me that with that simple chop, I too could look awesome.

A Groupon deal for £16 cut and blowdry with local trendy salon clinched it. Fringe has been chopped. Well it didn't quite turn me into Zooey Deschanel, but it's new and different and I kind of like it even if my husband was mean.

Another thing off the January Joy list- Try a New Trend

January Joy: Learn Something New

This is the January Joy I have been most looking forward to. It doesn't take much to go and find something new and interesting to understand, do, or see, but sometimes you need a bit of inspiration and motivation to get going.

I am a creative person, and these days I spend most of my efforts on photography, and much of that is 'work'. I could paint, draw, print, cut, sew and craft all day, but actually can't remember the last time I made time to do it. However, this way lies procrastination.

I also like more academic learning, from science, which is my educational background, to history. I often wish I could go back to school and be more appreciative of all that wonderful information that I was taught, given over freely in handy 1 hour packages. Instead I was wasting my time learning the lyrics to Boom Shake the Room, doodling on my pencil case and pretending not to be the boffin I was. So now I'm a grown up ( I cooked Christmas dinner, I officially qualify now) I have to go out and do my own learning.

This week an opportunity presented itself to get interested in something all new and exciting to me. BBC Stargazing came to Portsmouth, bringing exhibitions, talks, and demonstrations to the Historic Dockyard one (sadly) cloudy evening. Turns out I have a few other friends already well into stargazing, and so I ended up at Winchester Science Centre the following evening for the monthly Space Lecture, learning about Mars exploration.

So this is my thing to learn more about. I'm looking forward to an evening stargazing with a friend and her new telescope soon, some more space lectures and evenings at the planetarium, and want to try some star trail photography too. Few books to start reading this weekend too.

Blue Monday

I was not buying into this 'Blue Monday" thing. The combination of post-Christmas blues, crappy weather, debt, dieting, sobriety and first day back to work is said to make this the most depressing day of the year. I was determined not to get into this negative mentality. 

But then I spent around 3 hours of my day on the M27, couldn't find a parking space and had a day full of dullness, disagreement and horrible reality.Why does that make it the most depressing day of the year? It doesn't, its pretty standard so I'm not going to let it get me down.

Tomorrow I leave the house half an hour earlier.